Tub

Yesterday while I was house sitting, I decided to take a nice long bath in the new guest bathroom. I put my favorite "Bossa Nova" station on Pandora, looking up through the skylight to see a clear blue day. Lauren told me to do this, after she realized that I have been depressed since April.

While we were at Andrew's, we were all discussing our hopes and dreams for the future. When it came my turn to share, I couldn't even image what I dream of. I have been in such a dark place for so long that I never dream or fantasize. This scared me. No wonder these unfortunate events repeat themselves. I can't even begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Lauren turned to me and said "girl, you need to take a bubble bath." So I did. Even though I didn't get all the shampoo out of my hair, I didn't care. I am not a bath person, I am too impatient. But yesterday, I decided to put that behind me. Let all this shit go, and realize that the clouds still move. Let the skylight ease me into a meditation, while I sink into the warm abyss.